3 Short Stories

Story 1

Beth's birthday was on Tuesday, February 2nd. I decided to surprise her by bringing home the best (indisputable) ice cream in the world: Cold Stone's Birthday Cake Remix. It is high-calorie goodness. Imagine: the worker scooped 48oz of cake batter into the tub and then dumped it out on the counter to commence the creation process. She poured chocolate syrup all over it, threw in 4 brownies and dumped sprinkles on top. Then, with those magnificent metal tongs she began mixing it all together. I sat drooling until I heard an "Ugghhh!" from the person ahead of me in line. I looked over and saw a boyfriend/girlfriend couple. The young lady was looking at my 48oz of heaven with a look of disgust. I don't know why, but it was as if someone had just offended my mother. I put on a serious face and said, "And you wanna know what's worse? I am gonna eat this all by myself...within the hour." Her eyes bugged out and she looked away. Her boyfriend looked over with a smile, and I knew that he understood.

Story 2

The other day I was sitting downstairs grading papers on the couch while Mikayla and Rowan played happily in the same room. At one point Mikayla hopped over and said, "Daddy, I'm going to get a carrot from the refrigerator." She bounded off to the kitchen and I looked down at the papers in front of me. I was immediately disrupted by a loud, ear-piercing shriek from Mikayla that sounded like she was being attacked. She wasn't. I looked up and she was sprinting right back to me, still screaming. "Mouse! Mouse! There's a mouse in the kitchen!" I knew it. They have been planning, scheming to come back in our home. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen and saw a mouse sitting in the middle of the floor. I stopped and stared. It didn't move. I didn't move. But Rowan did. He sprinted past me and charged for the mouse. "NOOOOO!!!" Rowan froze. The mouse was still frozen and so was I. Mikayla was still panting behind me, attempting to calm herself. I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but the mouse never moved. It just sat there. I thought maybe Mikayla caused it to lose its ability to hear, since she almost caused me to lose mine. I rolled a ball by it, and nothing. In the end, I was able to dispose of the mouse without so much as a flinch of protest. I'm not sure but I think Mikayla may have killed it, or at least paralyzed it, with her scream. Isn't there some Greek mythological or Harry Potter creature that had that same ability?

Story 3

During Sacrament Meeting on Sunday Mikayla asked me, "Dad, why are the boys giving everybody food and drinks?"
I responded, "Well, it isn't really food and drinks. Every Sunday we take bread and water to remember Jesus."
She replied, "Because Jesus died for us, right daddy?"
"Exactly."
"Daddy?"
"Yes Mikayla?"
"Why are some people old?"
"Well, people are old when they have lived for a long time."
Then Mikayla leaned across me and, pointing to the lady sitting next to us, said "Kind of like she is really old, right dad?"
I just kept my eyes focused straight ahead and prayed that I wouldn't get smacked by whomever was sitting next to me...

Randy

I have talent...

I always plague Randy with my insecurities- "What am I good at? What do I do well?" blah blah blah

Well. I have found a talent. I realized that I do it with such ease that I must be good at it. Are you ready for the great unveiling? HA. Not yet. First I must share my week's plunders.

The Children's Place. Winter Clearance is 3.99 for Mik and 2.99 for Row, plus a 15% off coupon. That's right. Winter school clothes- check! Over $300 worth of clothes for $66- check. Now, that is for Row and Mik and two baby shower outfit/gifts as well! Hello.. Can you say bargain? Yeah, goodwill is nice. But there is something nice about brand new socks- the plush downy feel and warmth and coziness, and brand new jeans that are untainted. It just feels good. My kids don't know the difference but I do. I admit that I prefer new over used. Usually. Depending on the need. Depending on the situation. The pants I wore today are from Goodwill (Hurley for 4.99!). And I will NEVER forget the Givenchy shirt Melian snagged at St. Thomas's that I wore for years even after she died. I had no clue I was wearing such an exclusive label. I wonder if she knew?

Dillard's- Children's shoes on clearance. Little man Nike's and little man Stride Rites for $8.60 and $10.80 respectively. Worth it. Those I can resale at consignment when Row is done with them! Oh and some way cute flaming chucks for $8.70. Thank you converse. Roughly $100 worth of shoes for less than $30. Not amazing. But pretty good.

Food Lion- again my stomach thanks you for going out of business. 60% percent off of all groceries, and I had a new freezer to fill, cabinets to line, and little money to do so. $1000 worth of groceries for $285. My receipt was so long that the computer wouldn't ring me up anymore and they had to check me out twice. So worth it; and despite the fact that it was supposed to help food storage. I know we will inevitably eat it all because we always find ourselves short. Go figure.

I also bought a new black skirt for $14.99. Not a huge steal, but it is adorable and I deserve it. Well, I want it. I don't totally need it, but I really do. Really. No. Not so much. It's cute though and that does matter. Some. Maybe.

Any ideas at what I am good at?

SPENDING MONEY!! I could have saved all that money and not spent any of it and never known the difference.

Do you want to see what I really wanted?


A mere $648.00 Let me just say, the picture does NOT do these beautiful works of art justice. I was aching to buy them. I really considered it. Official announcement: I'm crazy for cowboy boots. I'm crazy for shiny studded cowboy boots. These felt so rich and beautiful. They gave me the same pleasure as Birthday Cake Re-Mix from Coldstone. And that says a bunch right there.

I've wanted new boots since I put on my mom's old ones for Halloween and realized how comfy and eclectic they are. I know my sister's are cringing. The boots are a bit much. Black and White leather, black and white beads, and fringe. Annie Oakley here I come.

Oh, and these boots were OK too. Definitely classics on my wish list. Someday when I have $400 to invest. Yeah right.