3 Short Stories

Story 1

Beth's birthday was on Tuesday, February 2nd. I decided to surprise her by bringing home the best (indisputable) ice cream in the world: Cold Stone's Birthday Cake Remix. It is high-calorie goodness. Imagine: the worker scooped 48oz of cake batter into the tub and then dumped it out on the counter to commence the creation process. She poured chocolate syrup all over it, threw in 4 brownies and dumped sprinkles on top. Then, with those magnificent metal tongs she began mixing it all together. I sat drooling until I heard an "Ugghhh!" from the person ahead of me in line. I looked over and saw a boyfriend/girlfriend couple. The young lady was looking at my 48oz of heaven with a look of disgust. I don't know why, but it was as if someone had just offended my mother. I put on a serious face and said, "And you wanna know what's worse? I am gonna eat this all by myself...within the hour." Her eyes bugged out and she looked away. Her boyfriend looked over with a smile, and I knew that he understood.

Story 2

The other day I was sitting downstairs grading papers on the couch while Mikayla and Rowan played happily in the same room. At one point Mikayla hopped over and said, "Daddy, I'm going to get a carrot from the refrigerator." She bounded off to the kitchen and I looked down at the papers in front of me. I was immediately disrupted by a loud, ear-piercing shriek from Mikayla that sounded like she was being attacked. She wasn't. I looked up and she was sprinting right back to me, still screaming. "Mouse! Mouse! There's a mouse in the kitchen!" I knew it. They have been planning, scheming to come back in our home. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen and saw a mouse sitting in the middle of the floor. I stopped and stared. It didn't move. I didn't move. But Rowan did. He sprinted past me and charged for the mouse. "NOOOOO!!!" Rowan froze. The mouse was still frozen and so was I. Mikayla was still panting behind me, attempting to calm herself. I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but the mouse never moved. It just sat there. I thought maybe Mikayla caused it to lose its ability to hear, since she almost caused me to lose mine. I rolled a ball by it, and nothing. In the end, I was able to dispose of the mouse without so much as a flinch of protest. I'm not sure but I think Mikayla may have killed it, or at least paralyzed it, with her scream. Isn't there some Greek mythological or Harry Potter creature that had that same ability?

Story 3

During Sacrament Meeting on Sunday Mikayla asked me, "Dad, why are the boys giving everybody food and drinks?"
I responded, "Well, it isn't really food and drinks. Every Sunday we take bread and water to remember Jesus."
She replied, "Because Jesus died for us, right daddy?"
"Exactly."
"Daddy?"
"Yes Mikayla?"
"Why are some people old?"
"Well, people are old when they have lived for a long time."
Then Mikayla leaned across me and, pointing to the lady sitting next to us, said "Kind of like she is really old, right dad?"
I just kept my eyes focused straight ahead and prayed that I wouldn't get smacked by whomever was sitting next to me...

Randy